In Tibetan Buddhism, the darkness within us is seen as not something to be rejected, but tamed, embraced - not ignored.

There's a certain sort of confidence that came over me this past year...and I think in part its due to finding a way to embrace those dragons inside me, those little facets of my mind that play to the less noble, the more illogical parts of my soul that still cry out for people and things that I know, in heart, I should no longer ask for, expect, want, or desire to be a greater part of my life than they already are.

But I do accept that people in my life will touch me deeply, that I will allow them to continue to do so, that in this I find a certain aliveness, a certain validation, like a fiery breath on my brain.

I accept that upon one of those mind's facets (and I accept that I have many of these, too many sometimes I think!) I will write silent love letters each day to them all, carefully crafted, delicate emotions that hover on the edge of my consciousness.

I will not deny they exist, but will gently embrace them, soothing their shivering hunger, and cajoling them into rest until they are stirred once again, despite my best intentions.

I can find room in my life for only one person, but I accept that in my heart, love is a far grander thing than two lives can ever fully allow. Love lives in many rooms of the faceted mind, rooms that while not always open, will always remain within this freakish hotel that is my consciousness.

Love comes first, even when that love is best expressed through restraint.

Course...I know this probably sounds like bullshit.

But it makes sense to me, so...I'm satisfied.